all the things she does make it seems like love and its just a game .
and i like the way that we play!
this is where you and i meet.
siti khadijah is full of laughs and smiles. :DD
her life is now officially online and officially only YOU cn read it.
this is where we draw the line of you and me , together . :DDD

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I came back from my hospital checkup yesterday, and the greatest news just slammed onto my face,

IM GOING TO LOSE MY RIGHT EYESIGHT!!!!

AHHHH!!!! I dun want to, but i cant help it with the temptations around me, the food that make me go HIGH!!!Oh no oh no, i dun want to, seriously, i wont see like before, i'll be blind like forever!!! now it seems like everyone is asking whther im alright, no im NOT!!!SO NOT!!!!i feel so terrible, the news...its...its...ITS JUST.....im speechless.....no way,

i want to cry but i cant, y? cos i know i can stop it but what if it really happen...my mind is going blank, i cnt think, all im thinking now is that im going to look so damn funny and be the laughing stock in the school....

its me!!!! ITS ME!!!! ahh, i've friends who care and i really appreciate it but i dunno if you guys would ever stay by my side and help me through everything before i lost my strongest eyesight,
Mdm Afidah talk to me already and she seem so worried. She told me how her father pass away because of diabetes, but she doesnt want me to go through the same fate as her father,

half of me says that its better that i'll die but what about the other half of me? they say i have to live up to where i can give up and just let my whole body decomposed, i really love life but people, well, not all people really do apperciate me as normally i know now that there's a rumor going on about me now and i dun noe who spread it but i know myself that im like one of the topics for gossiping, and im sure you dont know how it feels but....

this is how i feel,
-unsafe
-uncomfortable
-useless
-not worthy.
well there are many reasons but, i've not been a good friend, to anyone, ive been a useless eldest to my family...i couldn't be the right thing for friends....i know how hard to find friends during secondary school...but, i hope one day, i'll get the class together and round up a few circle of friends to be with but its impossible since the cliques here and there...

i hope many of you notice that i nowadays, not in the canteen during recess. cos now im just hiding myself in the library, burying myself in the books...i cant help being look at everyone who knows about the rumors and gossips about me...

i have to force to be on diet to prevent the veins in my eyes hurt just like the hot sensation in my right eye that i experienced last saturday....i have to resist the temptations in school...the junk that ppl eat that i cant eat as much like you guys...

but wat im more afraid is that i'll go for counselling, and i hate the cousellor in school...she like so....nvm....its useless. now i'll pray along with my friends prayers to help me not to go blind cos if i do, sigh, i'll be the laughing stock in school....which i hope im not....

so for those ppl who knows about this, pls, pls, im begging you, dun tell any1, if you know your friends know, just rmbr its a secret between you and i, that includes your friends....

thanks guys, till then....