i feel
tired
restless
and
need love to pull me through
just yesterday ,
luqman msg me
about my blog .
((:
i was surprised
surely i was
but when he msg
' dont get the wrong idea okey fwen '
it was because of something i wrote about my abg angkat
all i do know is
he is concern about something i said
and i hope he is not jealous or something
i look out the flashing of bulidings and houses
while thinking over and over again
about that last msg he sent me
and i couldnt reply
my pp8 low
all i could do is reflect
as passengers alight and aboard the bus
i didnt had time to take out my small black box
full of my music choices .
i was reflecting
thinking whether it might mean something
and i remembered the things my fwen says
if that guy loves you
he would want to be with you immediately
and not wait after some important thing like major exams
but i understand
its true what she meant
and i think
im putting my hopes too high up
like what most people says when i say single but taken
but now,
im stuck between two guys .
of whom
one i love
and
one i like like
and i also recall
what my sister said after she met with the guy i used to date with
they tok about me
he ask how am i
i just listen as she explain
and something hit me
he say that
whenever most guys i meet on tagged sees me ,
they ran away and never come back
yes
they totally break all connections with me
they ignore all my msgs
and and
i dont know why
i think there is something wrong with me
there is , isnt there ?
i totally understand now
im not as appealing as other gerls
nor as beautiful and fun like my sister
im just ordinary
i get jealous when my galfwens and sister describes their first kiss .
their first hug
their first held hands with their boyfwens
i get jealous and envy
im still a 'virgin'
never held hands ,
never hug someone
never even had my first kiss
wth ?!?
i guess i am putting my hopes too high
maybe ,
the guys in tagged
will really run away when they see me
and im left all alone ,
again .
luqman(!)
ili(!)
irah(!)
raudhaa(!)
lyana(!)
Adriana(!)