just posted a recent post a few hours ago . now im posting another one . i thought it would be good since its been a long time since i've been posting . i would not say its is due to exams but partly , yes . many things have hit me hard this past few days and i have nothing to comment about it . most of it , i believe i made myself do it and its my blame . sometimes , i wonder if it really was necessary to just tell someone about the thing you keep inside you .
my medical condition has gone bad to worse . due to many stress and my forgetfulness , i forgot to take my medications time after time . so the other day, during my hospital appointment , it wasn't really a surprise to me at all . the blood results came back and it increased again . past this 2 and 1/2 years with my medical condition , whom i was diagnosed at p6 , i have been hitting the ' high ' side . what can i say . but now . when i see all my results , i see myself destroying my own life and future . the doctor gave me an article to read about and hint to me that the complications the author wrote about , might happen to me in the age of 30 . i didnt want it at all . all i wanted was to live a good life , where i can achive my goals and aspirations while controlling my medical condition . whatever it is , i have to take control and not let it control me .
personally , i feel my life is at the sudden edge of getting exposed . my parents dont know that i have a blog but it seems they are trying to kill me with constant hurtful words and phrases that totally hit me hard . my mum . i know she was from a good school . she been scoring 'A's in her studies and thats great . but the worse thing is , she look down upon me . i myself is a normal academic student in an automous school . but she keeps telling me how stupid i am and how 'normal' kid i was . seriously , if you heard it , you definetly want to bash her up and curse and swear at her . she even look down upon my friends . she thinks they are kids who might enter a girls' or boys' home . i hate her so much . she been psycho-ing me with words that show i belong to the trash fields rather than be in her home . for all i know , i might burst out soon or run away .
consitently , my life have already been a nightmare . but also , i appreciate the things my friends and relatives done to make me stand up still instead of falling into failure . i pray for them everyday , hoping they get the miracles they want . most of the time , i forgot to pray for myself .
btu thats ok . i'm just happy . :DDD as long as i have someone to support me , i'm willing to be whatever it takes to prevent things to get to me . but for now, constant support is needed and happiness and love needs to be filled up .
loves ,
muacks .
khadijah . :DDDD
luqman(!)
ili(!)
irah(!)
raudhaa(!)
lyana(!)
Adriana(!)